My Johari Window

This assignment was quite an eye opener for me. I was a little nervous about sending off emails to my friends and family. I thought they wouldn't take it seriously and just delete it or pass it by. I was pleasantly surprised when they not only completed the task, but called me to discuss it and followed it for a number of days to see what others had to say. I became the center of attention for a few days as my closest family and friends discussed the best ways to describe me in just a few words. I was even more surprised when a few of them became upset that they were limited on their adjectives. I thought it was nice that they felt they couldn't narrow it down.

I try very hard everyday to make those that I care about proud of me. I don't necessarily need a pat on the back all the time, but I still like to go to bed at night knowing I tried my very best that day at anything I had to accomplish. I have my off days and I have a tendency to let those off days over shadow my good ones. I feel as though my bad days are what people remember, so then I work twice as hard to erase those days from people's memories. I always had the impression that people hold onto the negative a lot longer than they hold on to the positive.

When I reviewed my results, I found that this is not always so. My loved ones chose qualities that I was afraid to choose myself. Things like clever or adaptable are traits I have always hoped I had, but I wasn't confident enough to say it about myself, at the risk of being wrong. My family and friends chose traits that I can finally admit to myself that I have, without feeling self conscience or even self centered. I have a hard time talking about myself and pointing out any good qualities because I don't want to seem like I have a big ego. My family and friends have shown me that a big ego is far from the list they chose from.

Having them choose words like loving and kind helped me a lot. (80%!!!!!) It shows me that they know where my heart is in times of need and where my loyalties are. That may be confusing, but it really isn't. Those two words, for me, are words that can only come from the heart. Clever, calm, and knowledgeable are all great words that would make anyone feel good about themself, but they are functions of the brain. Being loving and kind are words that show support and devotion. They are matters of the heart. Having those be the two most chosen words were wonderful. A lot of the self doubt I had in my friendship qualities are gone now. My loved ones have shown me that I am all the things that I have always strived to be.

As wonderful as the words were to read, it isn't just about that. Any of the Johari window words would be wonderful to hear about oneself, but the simple fact that the people I love took the time out of their busy schedules to share their thoughts on me is great. It showed me that I have value to the people I value. Don't get me wrong, I know that I am loved by my family and friends, but in our hectic lives we don't always get to show it. We get sidetracked and forgetful. I am guilty of it constantly, especially this semester. My loved ones made it a point not to forget about this, knowing that it was important to me and my strive to excel in school. I didn't have to call and remind anyone. I didn't have to send repeated emails. I didn't have to choose new participants because the first ones bailed on me. My first picks are obviously my first picks for a reason. I can count on them just like they have always been able to count on me. That's an awesome feeling. OK, enough rambling. I hope I make sense to everyone and I look forward to reading how everyone else felt about this assignment.